The Crumbling Orb

Romeo and Juliet

The story takes place after EPISODE II.

Ken was sleeping upside down in his apartment room in Sur’kesh and suddenly he heard a big bang from outside his door and he fell on the floor and flopped onto his front.

“Please be an attack and not something stupid.” Ken said to himself.

Ken opened the door to see it was Stolas who was casting spells.

“What are you doing?” Ken asked.

“Oh Kenny, I didn’t mean to wake you.” Ken said.

“It’s two in the morning and we had one hell of a day yesterday.” Ken said.

“I know but this is important, it’s life or death.” Stolas said.

“What are you doing?” Ken asked.

“I’m trying to create a clone of this Drayconivous but it isn’t working. I’d need a blood sample or something.” Stolas said.

Ken just facepalmed.

“Two in the morning…” Ken groaned.

“Kenny, it’s true love. You cannot destroy true love.” Stolas said.

“You don’t even know him! He’s dead! He was married to a woman! Heck, I read that he had kids from many women- pretty much he was a slut for women!” Ken shouted.

“Then he can pretend I’m a woman.” Stolas said.

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.” Ken said.

Ken kept watching him trying to do it but he kept failing.

“So if you’re gay-” Ken began to say.

“Pansexual.” Stolas corrected him.

“Okay so, how come marry a woman and have a kid by her?” Ken asked.

“Tyrant rules said I had to marry a woman. The child part well, well let’s say I didn’t enjoy the sex but I do not regret it for I created a wonderful daughter.” Stolas said.

“You’re a good father.” Ken said.

“Thank you Kenny.” Stolas said.

Stolas kept failing with his magic.

“Why don’t you forget it and rest up okay?” Ken said.

“You can’t ruin love.” Stolas said.

“I don’t think that’s love.” Ken said.

“Okay maybe it’s lust, but cut me some slack. Besides, don’t you have a little thing for that green-haired girl?” Stolas asked.

Ken looked to the side cornering his lips.

“Maybe.” Ken said.

“Why don’t you take her on a little night date, somewhere to watch the stars. It would be quite a charming time for you both, and you can spend it privately away from everyone here.” Stolas said.

“I don’t know I mean, she might be busy.” Ken said.

“You never know till you ask.” Stolas said.

“Okay, I’ll think about it.” Ken said heading back to his apartment room.

Stolas had a wide grin watching him go and walked over to another apartment room gently knocking on it.

“Who is it?” Eto asked on the other side.

“It’s Stolas.” Stolas said.

Eto opened the door a bit and looked at him.

“Your majesty?” Eto asked.

“Just Stolas, please. I wanted to say that I heard a… ‘rumor’ of sorts about Ken.” Stolas said.

“A rumor?” Eto asked with an amused look on her face.

“I heard he may or may not like you in the way of perhaps possible romance. You know, the wonderful stuff. The… fornication.” Stolas said sliding down against the door with a red blush on his face.

Eto just facepalmed.

“I think I know what you’re getting at.” Eto said.

Stolas stood back up.

“Aaaaand perhaps you should go talk to him. Hm? Maybe see if he wants to take you out on a little night stroll.” Stolas said.

“Oh really? At this time of night after what we did by helping the Batarians and nearly getting our asses kicked by three bitches?” Eto said.

“Think of it as Romeo and Juliet.” Stolas said.

“Who?” Eto asked.

“Gasp! You don’t know who they are!?” Stolas asked.

“Never heard of them.” Eto said.

Stolas grabbed her hand yanking her out of her room and pulling her to Ken’s door and knocked on it.

“Wha-” Ken asked while opening the door.

Stolas grabbed Ken and pulled him along with Eto out to a table and sat them both down.

“Kenny, do you know who Romeo and Juliet are!” Stolas asked.

“I’m confused.” Ken said.

“Kid’s nowadays. Your humans from a long time ago, Romeo and Juliet. Ugh, do I have to tell the story?” Stolas asked.

“No.” Both of them said.

“Going to anyway.” Stolas said.

Stolas cleared his throat and weaved a magical mirror in front of them to show them the images of the story.

“Once upon a time- oh look it’s Aizen.” Stolas said.

Ken and Eto was surprised to see Aizen in it.

“What the hell?” Ken asked.

“He must have been on this planet at this spot when Romeo and Juliet was alive- well then I shall continue.” Stolas said.

In the story…

It was back in the past on Gielinor, Aizen’s homeworld.

The town was Varrock and Aizen was walking around and noticed a distressed man pacing.

“Can I help you?” Aizen asked.

“Can you! Oh, thank you!” The man said running over to him.

“I might regret this.” Aizen mumbled to himself.

“My name is Romeo, you see that house over there?” Romeo said pointing to a flowered house.

“What about it?” Aizen asked.

“I saw a beautiful blonde woman through the window having a piece of pie and I wish to ask her hand to the dance tomorrow. To have her as a bride would make my heart melt into a lava flow of love.” Romeo said.

“Easy Romeo, I should have you arrested for looking into someone’s window.” Aizen said.

“But my Lord, this woman has captured my heart!” Romeo said.

“Alright alright tell you what, I’ll ask her if she’s with anyone and let you know okay?” Aizen asked.

“Thank you, my Lord!” Romeo said.

Romeo hid behind a few barrels and Aizen knocked on the door.

A man opened it.

“Lord Aizen, I did not expect you here.” The man said.

“Yes hello. I ask if there is a young blonde woman who lives here?” Aizen asked.

“Yes, of course, she and her cousin are upstairs. Do you wish to speak to her?” The man asked.

“Only if she has a date for-” Aizen began to say.

“Juliet, Phillipa, downstairs!” The man shouted.

Juliet walked down along with a ginger-haired girl that showed quite a bit of skin.

Aizen stared for a moment and shook his head to concentrate.

“Lord Aizen is here to ask you on a da-” The man began to say.

“No! I was only asking if she was dating someone!” Aizen shouted.

“Oh. Well no. Can you? We could be in-laws.” The man said batting his eyelashes.

Aizen cringed.

“Carry on with your day.” Aizen said and walked out.

Aizen walked back to Romeo.

“Her name is Juliet and she’s single.” Aizen said.

“Oh thank you! Could you perhaps give her this letter? I signed it.” Romeo said.

Aizen looked at the letter and it had terrible handwriting.

“I don’t even know what this says- is this English?” Aizen asked.

“Of course! Please hurry to miss Juuls.” Romeo said.

“Juliet.” Aizen corrected.

“Yes yes go.” Romeo said.

Aizen knocked on the door again and Juliet opened it.

“May I help you, my Lord?” Juliet asked.

“A man who wants your heart told me to give you this letter.” Aizen said handing it to her.

Juliet looked at it and had a blank stare on her face.

“What does it say?” Juliet asked.

Aizen thought of what to say and had an idea.

“It says, he wishes to take your hand to the dance tomorrow, to give himself to you and only you. He knows you are a queen and him a nobody, but he wishes to be somebody under your wing, your arms, your soul. His body and soul are yours.” Aizen said.

Juliet blushed.

“Tell the man that I accept- under one condition.” Juliet said.

“Name it.” Aizen said.

“My father would not approve and thus I need to prove to him that if this man speaks the truth, that this man must prove he can save my life.” Juliet said.

“Oh? Playing damsel in distress?” Aizen asked.

“Yes. I ask for a potion known as Cadava. It will kill me but someone has an hour to kiss me for the spell of the potion to be lifted.” Juliet said.

“And that someone would be Romeo?” Aizen asked.

“That’s his name? My what a charming name- oh so prince-like. It’s already getting my womanhood tingly and the thought of his **** plowing deep into my *****-” Juliet was saying.

Story Interrupted.

“Woah woah wait, she really said that?” Eto asked Stolas.

Stolas blinked.

“If it shows it in the magic mirror then yes she said it.” Stolas said.

Ken and Eto’s eyebrows raised.

“Now, continuing the story.” Stolas said.

Story continuing.

Aizen walked back to Romeo with a cringed expression.

“Well?” Romeo asked.

“You’re going to have to prove to her father that you are acceptable so she will fake her death and you will kiss her to bring her back to life and you will be a hero.” Aizen said.

“Oh cool! Where will miss Jai be?” Romeo asked.

“Juliet. And she will be found on the street. My men will take her to the morgue and where you shall kiss her to bring her back to life.” Aizen said.

“Sounds simple! So where should I be?” Romeo asked.

Aizen stared at him.

“What?” Romeo asked.

“You should be in the city square to hear of her death like everyone else.” Aizen said.

“But what if annoying people want to talk to me?” Romeo asked.

“Then ignore them?” Aizen said.

“Well, I suppose if it’s worth it to be with miss Galibringa.” Romeo said.

“Juliet.” Aizen corrected.

“Yes her.” Romeo said.

A few minutes later, Juliet met Aizen in an alleyway.

“I got the potion.” Aizen said.

“Okay so you will find my body and report it- got it?” Juliet asked.

“Got it.” Aizen said.

Juliet’s cousin was standing nearby.

“Why is she here?” Aizen asked.

“She’s going to make sure dad finds out the moment you report the body so it doesn’t seem sketchy.” Juliet said.

“She sure likes to show skin.” Aizen said.

“She’s a slut.” Juliet said.

“Not very nice to say about your cousin.” Aizen said.

“No really she is a slut, she sleeps around with anyone who pays her. Surprisingly she’s richer than me.” Juliet said with a growl.

“Right well, ready to drink and awaken to your true love?” Aizen asked.

“Yes. Oh my prince Romeo awaits me!” Juliet said.

Aizen handed her the drink and she eagerly drinked all of it down.

Romeo stood there for a moment and fell back.

Aizen gave a wave to Phillipa who ran off to find Juliet’s father.

“Oh no! I found a body! Someone help! Help!” Aizen shouted.

A few soldiers ran in and a minute later, Juliet’s father ran up in tears.

“My sweet Juliet!” Her father shouted.

Aizen patted his back.

“Do not worry, I shall see to it that her killer is- what are you doing?” Aizen asked.

Juliet’s father ran up the stairs of a building and Aizen cocked his eyebrow.

“I cannot live without my wife or daughter!” Juliet’s father shouted to the crowd.

“Wait hold- “Aizen began to say.

The man fell and blood splatter everywhere from his body hitting the stone ground head first, one piece of his head scared a child who ran into a stack of wood logs that rolled on top of the kid killing him and pushed down a few people- one person fell into the blades of his shop while another fell into the window and the broken glass cut his eyes in two.

Everyone was screaming running around and one man just shot himself with a crossbow for no reason at all.

Aizen just stood there speechless and one of the logs hit a building that toppled over killing five people inside and blood pouring out from that building.

Romeo suddenly ran out of the alleyway.

“Oh my! Muffin! No!” Romeo shouted crying over Juliet’s body and mispronouncing her name again.

Aizen rubbed his mouth looking around and looked to Romeo.

“This went way off course of my plan.” Aizen said.

“Why?” Romeo asked.

“Hello! The dead bodies around! Her father committed suicide!” Aizen shouted.

“Oh- well I still have my sweet Juliet.” Romeo said.

“Okay okay just, just kiss her so I can go back to work.” Aizen said.

Before Romeo kissed her, he saw Phillipa and his eyes turned into hearts.

“Who’s that fox!” Romeo shouted.

Phillipa winked at him and placed a hand on her hip.

“You’re charming indeed.” Phillipa said.

“Romeo, what about Ju-” Aizen began to say.

“Who’s that!?” Romeo asked.

“That’s her cousin. Listen you do not want her, she’s a total slut.” Aizen said.

Romeo looked at Aizen, then to Juliet, then to Phillipa and he cheered running over to Phillipa and immediately made out with her in the back of a building in the alleyway.

Aizen slowly blinked and sighed.

Aizen heard a snap from a signpost on a building fall off and fell right into Juliet’s head.

Aizen facepalmed.

Story ended.

Stolas stopped weaving his hands and smiled at Ken and Eto.

“The end.” Stolas said.

Ken and Eto had confused expressions on their faces with their mouths half-open.

“Excuse my language but, what the fuck is the moral of that god-awful story?” Ken asked.

“The moral is, do not let love escape you! Embrace it!” Stolas said.

“That can’t be moral. That wasn’t even a love story, more like a want-to-be love story.” Eto said.

“It’s the only story I could think of that involves your friend!” Stolas shouted.

Aizen appeared out of a nearby bush.

“If I may clarify, that was Romeo’s fault!” Aizen shouted.

“Was you listen to us the whole time?” Eto asked.

“Yes, and do not ask me why I didn’t join you guys. I didn’t think he’d tell you the entire story- especially the death part. It was NOT my fault. The owner of the shop that went down sure blamed me and I had to have him killed to shut him up.” Aizen said.

“I think the moral of the story is to mind your own business.” Ken said.

“Come on let’s get some sleep.” Eto said.

“Agreed.” Ken said.

Ken and Eto walked off leaving Stolas and Aizen to watch them go.

Aizen glanced to Stolas.

“Is there any more stories about me?” Aizen asked.

“Not everything is about you.” Stolas said.

Stolas walked off leaving a bewildered Aizen to stand there watching him go.